


Letters, Love at the Speed of the USPS

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Fallout 4, Rod Serling - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Desperate Nick, Dynamite Dildos, Homophobia, M/M, Post Script advertisements, Radio Show Script Writer Rod, love letter, nicotine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:29:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7700332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poor Nick, the memories of the good old days have gotten him to write to one of his past partners. If only it were as sweet a reunion as he thought it would be...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Letter 69

**Author's Note:**

> Heard rumors that Rod was homophobic and this is my way of dealing with it. Deal with it.
> 
> Now, this is only a rumor that was found in an unsourced biography about Rod Serling. I personally do not believe that he was actually homophobic. I mean, there were literally no sources, this particular biography is heavily criticized for not being accurate at all, and it is not mentioned literally anywhere else. Plus, it is very out of character for him. He stated that bigotry is what made him the most angry. I just want to clear that up so you don't think that it is the final word on the subject. honestly, this is just me messing around like I always do.

Dear Roddy Rod “Odd” Rod Serling,

 

How have you been!? I haven't seen hide nor hair of you since we got back from that case. Nasty one, wasn't it? I think we all almost bit the big one while charging up that hill. I cannot believe the luck that we struck. But, as they say, luck manifests itself in strange ways.

 

Made any progress on your art? I know that you said that you were going to be writing scripts for some radio station out in the New California Republic. I always wanted to travel out there and see the remnants of the old world. I think we both can remember the iconic sets and stars on the walk of fame. Did yours survive? Eh, how would anyone know anyways. Probably enough bombs dropped out there alone to dig up a new oil well.

 

You're probbaly wondering what old Nick has been up to these days. Well, the answer is not much. Well, I did get captured by Skinny Malone. You remember him? He fired that machine gun at us and nearly tore my hand clean off. Then you held him off until I could get to safety. I really do owe my life to you. Well, to you and someone else. Please, he isn't a friend or anything. He just happened to need me to find someone for him. Man, you should have been there for that adventure. We took out Kellog. Kellog, that menacing merc! He was tough to take down but my, um, client there handled it well.

 

Oh! Did you know the Institute is gone? Yeah, blown right sky high! My client tracked the person all the way there and, well, we made our way in and took it out. I guess a lot of things have been happening while you've been gone. I mean, that was quite a journey with my new partner there.

 

What did you say that radio station was called that you got a commission for? I have heard stories of some strange stations out there. They play funny programs like “Peg Your Way, USA” and things like that. Did you write that? Because, well, that sounds pretty hot.

 

You know, I have been fantasizing about you a lot lately. “The fantasies come thick and fast” as you used to say to me. But that was about other things...

 

Did I ever tell you what my full first name is? You might like it. It's Nicotine. Yep. Nicotine Valentine. What a wonderful name. You could smoke me anytime...

 

Well, do you think you'll be coming home anytime soon? I really have been missing our adventures together. Especially the intimate ones. They have some dynamite dildos in Diamond City now! You won't believe! Some of them actual dynamite too. You can never be too careful.

 

You may even like to meet my partner too. I mean, the client. Not my friend (if you know what I mean). I mean, he is open minded. He is another “Liberated Man” too. I think you two would go great together...over me. His name is Nate and he can suck like a Hoover.

 

Anyways, please respond as soon as possible, Daddy. Respond even quicker for a good time ; )

 

 

Love,

 

Nicotine “Nick” Valentine

 


	2. HOMOPHOBIA

 

Dear Nick,

 

What is wrong with you!? Lover!? Are you for real!? You cannot say that! How dare you imply such disgusting things about us! Two men should not love one another and you should NEVER end a letter with 'love' that is written for another man. You are sick, Valentine! I suggest you seek repairs. Oh wait, you destroyed your only hope of being fixed! GRRRRRAAAAAAAAH.

 

And “Daddy”!? Look, you can call me father, you can call me Jacob, you can call me Jake, you can call me a dirty son of a bitch. But if you ever call me Daddy gain I'll finish the fight! I mean it!

 

Never talk to me or my son again, Valentine. EVER!

 

By the way the radio station is Hard Knocks and Hard Cocks FM. Nothing gay though, unlike you!

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

 

Rodman “Not Gay or Daddy” Serling

 

 

P.S. Smoke Oasis cigarettes.

 


End file.
